Don't leave your spark.

When a woman gets married, she leaves her family, house, and belongings behind and enters a new house to make it her new home.

The journey starts with anticipation of good things to happen, and they do happen, going to family dinners and dressing up more often because you are in the limelight as a new bride.

You often go on vacations with your husband to have fun. You get extra protocol from your spouse, family, and in-laws.

New routines, new food habits, and a little new way of doing things compared to the previous home.

Girls are instructed by parents to fit into a mold that suits their in-laws. To please everyone in her new house, she goes overboard and forgets slowly what her life was before, her routine, her interests, her likes and dislikes, and her hobbies.

Her life starts to revolve around her husband. Wanting to spend time with him all the time, even her previous home gets removed from the list.

Her recently purchased books start neglecting her; they furiously look at her and say, 'See you after some time, you betrayer.'

Time becomes extra beautiful when you two share meals, wander in the cities, explore different things, and watch movies and seasons together (which one party may dislike).

Sunrise in pakistan

Slowly things start to change; you have to look after other people besides your husband and his parents.

It becomes overwhelming when you're asked to do so, which you may otherwise not find burdensome.

It becomes your duty to fulfill; you have to have a big heart to listen to their criticism and advice.

You're supposed to change your whole routine for them, but your dearest husband has the privilege to carry on with his desired routine.

I also started relying on him for everything like a baby and would turn off my mood for any minor thing. I didn't know I would be attached to someone so passionately that their absence would make me miserable.

I became insecure and afraid to embrace my solitude with dignity. He would encourage me to learn skills and have something in my life to feel content.

My answer would be, I'm tired; I have no energy after meal preps and kitchen work.
Excuses, he would say.

I remember I broke down in the kitchen when I first prepared the meals for my in-laws. It was hot inside. I bathed in my sweat, recalling how my mother used to cook for us. We never helped her when it came to cooking.

I started loving and respecting my mother more.

Your life becomes a constant struggle to please your loving husband and, at the same time, his parents (which they never can be totally, though they are very nice people when I listen to terrible stories of some people's marriages out there).

Learning to cook, especially roti/bread, was so challenging for me; I couldn't eat it myself, lol.
Burnt many dishes and my husband's parathas and eggs.

I have conquered this challenge, but sometimes, it becomes messy but not like how it was one year ago.

But my personality became like that woman only busy in the kitchen. I hated it, but I loved it too—to make food for my new family.

However, after doing everything with good intention, you still get to listen to everyone's rants. Nothing makes your heart as bad as sasural waloun ki baatain sunna.

Because you don't have any bond or emotional connection with them.
But you're still asked to take them as your own parents.

In the middle of all this chaos and blissful life, you lose the meaning and purpose of your life.
How I was so active here before marriage and how I had so much time for my friends.

My husband is still listening to all my rants again and again with patience, advising me to learn something and do something practical instead of talking.

A week ago he suggested watching an Indian movie, MS Dhoni, saying you need that movie right now.

I watched it. I didn't get any motivation at the time, but strangely, I started learning a new skill the very next day.

I developed an interest in that skill, about which I kept saying it was boring, too technical, and not my cup of tea.

Most importantly, I poured my heart out here after almost a year.

Feeling so happy to do different things other than just being an average stay-at-home woman who leaves every purpose and loses herself in the middle of running from one meal to another. :)