*My Dairy: A Bad Day, Guilt, and Learning | 16th July 2026*

Hey bestie, it’s your girl blessedi here again 👋
Welcome to another episode of my day. I hope you all had a pleasant day. But to be honest... today was different for me. Today was a bad day.

I woke up this morning with a normal mind. Nothing special. The first thing I did was go straight to my grasscutters. I’ve been curious lately because I really wanted to know if the ones I have are truly females like the man told me.

So I started checking them one after the other. I picked up the first one and when I looked, it looked more like a male to me. My heart sank a little. Then I checked the white one, and hers looked like a female. So I said let me confirm the third one too.

That’s where I made the terrible mistake of my life 😭
I carried her and I was holding her by the tail because I thought that was the right way. But she started twisting herself, struggling to get down. I panicked. Before I could even check properly, she slipped and fell from my hand. But I was still holding her tail... and just like that, the tail cut off in my hand.

Bestie, I froze. My whole body went cold. I felt so much guilt instantly. I was shaking. I quickly tried to catch her and dropped her back inside the cage, but I couldn’t even think straight. All I kept thinking was, "Had I known, I wouldn’t have picked her in the first place." I went inside, but I couldn’t sit still. My mind was just on her.

After some minutes I gathered courage and went back to check. I saw blood coming out. I was so scared of losing her. I immediately called the man that helped me get them and he told me to use ashes to rub on the wound to stop the bleeding. But she was too scared and didn’t even allow me to get close to her injury.

I just stood there watching, feeling so helpless. Faithfully, after some time the bleeding stopped on its own. Then I saw her start eating and moving around. That small thing gave me a little relief, but I know she’s in pain and it’s all because of me. The guilt was eating me up so bad that I couldn’t even eat that morning.

Later around 2:48pm, my ulcer started acting up because I hadn’t eaten anything. I had to force myself to go out and buy biscuit just to calm my stomach. I came back and just kept watching her from a distance. I felt so bad that I couldn’t even take a picture of the tail and the incident I was able to get a picture of them in the evening

In the evening I tried to pull myself together. I stronged my body and went to the kitchen to prepare rice and beans for dinner. After eating, I took my bath and just sat down to process everything that happened.

Lessons from today:
Today taught me to be gentle and to learn before I act. I let my curiosity and rush cause pain to an innocent animal, and that guilt will stay with me. But I’m also grateful she’s alive, eating, and moving. I’ll do better to care for her and give her space to heal and trust me again.

Health is wealth, and peace of mind is everything. I’m praying tomorrow is better. No guilt, no shaking, just healing for both me and her 🙏

Question for you my steemit family
Have you ever made a mistake that made you feel so guilty? How did you forgive yourself? Please share with me in the comments. I need it ❤️

Thank you for reading my dairy. See tomorrow