Worst Sunday service so far

I’m part of the church media team, so during service I was busy recording people doing the work of my Father in my Father’s house. 📹⛪️

As I was moving around with the camera, I noticed one very beautiful lady.

This girl had been looking at me since the program started. 😭

Anywhere I turned, her eyes followed me.

I even looked behind me once to check if she was looking at someone else… but no.

It was me.

I told myself,

“Big Tee… calm down. Maybe God has finally remembered you.” 😂

Then during offering, everyone stood up to go and drop their offering.

That’s when I saw her full package. 😭💀

Omo…

Before I could control myself, I quietly whispered,

“God abeg… this one na my spec.” 😂😂

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After the main service, the pastor announced there would be a youth meeting.

Most people left…

But guess what?

She stayed. 😭

At that point I was convinced.

I told myself,

“Big Tee, if you don’t make a move now, another brother will collect your testimony.” 😂

So after the youth program ended, I adjusted my shirt, walked confidently to her and said,

“Hi pretty. 😊 I’ve noticed you’ve been staring at me since morning. Next time, if you like someone, just walk up and tell the person how you feel. Anyway… I’m busy doing my Father’s work for now, so just give me your number.” 🤣

She suddenly became very quiet.

For about five seconds.

Then she burst into uncontrollable laughter. 😂😂

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Immediately my confidence started reducing.

I asked, “What’s funny? If you’re not interested, just say so. It’s not like girls don’t ask me out every day…”

Meanwhile, inside my mind I was saying, “Conquer, stop lying… almost every girl you approach tells you, ‘Please excuse me.’” 😭😂

The lady finally managed to stop laughing.

She cleared her throat and said,

“Umm… I wasn’t staring at you because I like you.”

Then she pointed at my trousers.

“I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you… your trousers have been torn since the beginning of the service.” 😭💔

She pointed straight to the most dangerous location. 🌚

I looked down…

Omo.

The trouser was completely torn. 😭😭😭

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I don’t even know when it happened.

Immediately, every moment from the service started replaying in my head.

The walking…

The bending…

The camera angles…

The offering…

Everything. 😭😂

At that point, I didn’t know whether to return to the media stand, go back inside the church, or simply disappear from the surface of the earth. 😭💀

To make matters worse…

That trouser is almost 7 years old, and because it’s still “managing,” I’ve been wearing it every other Sunday. 😂😂

So while I thought one beautiful sister had been admiring me throughout the service…

She was actually wondering how to tell me that my trousers had been conducting free open-air evangelism. 😭🤣