Memory's Vault, Vol 2: Reflections on Birthdays and Blackberries

It was my birthday, yesterday.

(Actually, it wasn't, but this post was written on August 31st and left as a draft during the HF21/22 downtime... anyway...)

It got me to thinking about how amazingly individual the whole notion of "birthday celebrations" really is. On the surface, we think it's all about parties and cakes and presents... but every individual finds specific meaning in certain memories and life experiences they bring to the table. Most often, our "reactions" to having a birthday have their roots in childhood experiences... leading us to things and events we either want to replicate... or avoid, at all costs.

Blackberries in the sun...

A Day Without "Marching Orders"

What I most remember about my birthdays as a kid — which now carries over, somewhat, into how I observe birthdays as an adult — was that it was one of the very few days that wasn't shaped by an endless list of things I had to do.

I could just do nothing and it was an acceptable thing.

And "nothing" was pretty much what I wanted to do! Of course, we all have our own definitions of what "nothing" looks like...

We would always have my birthday at my auntie's summerhouse in the country, which was a relaxing retreat, in and of itself. I knew that — if I wanted to — I could color and draw all day, and nobody would bother me. As a teenager, I knew that I could sit under a tree and read all day, and nobody would bother me.

This, in spite of the fact that most of the adults seemed a little "troubled" by the fact that my choice of "what do do" with my own day was generally to NOT do anything, rather than DO something.

You could say that I celebrated my birthday by UNcelebrating...

Blackberries on the vine...

The World of the Deep Introvert

Some who read this might feel somewhat baffled by the idea of a kid for whom a "free day" didn't revolve around parties and presents and activities and playing and all the other Socially Accepted Predefinitions of "Having Fun" (when you are anywhere from five to eighteen years old), but such is the world of the profound introvert.

Of which, of course, I was one.

And I still am.

What I remember most about my early birthdays were those late summer days at my auntie's house, and then the FOOD. Not presents; not people; not activities... but food.

My birthday always falls at the beginning of blackberry season, and one of the "treats" for me was to go into the thicket around my auntie's 24-acre property and pick blackberries. I'd get juice-stained and filthy; torn up by thorns... but it was all part of the "ritual."

Blackberry leaf... with some sort of colorful blight...

In the afternoon, we would typically head off to the local forest to gather wild chanterelle mushrooms for dinner; that was another of my favorite things.

Odd, I suppose, to have a 10-12 year old who thought wild mushrooms were far more interesting than an explosion of candy... but that was me.

Dinner — which I also got to choose — would consist of my auntie's whole roasted chicken, new potatoes from the garden, typically enough gravy to launch an ocean liner, and the mushrooms we'd found. And then, of course, the blackberries for dessert.

Cake was a whole separate event.

A bit of the day's harvest...

And So, it Was my Birthday...

On Friday, it was my birthday... and from my vantage point of the the newly attained age of 59, I contemplated those early birthdays, as we more or less replicated the experience in 2019... with roasted chicken, new potatoes, an "ocean" of gravy... although the chantarelles were missing (it has been too dry for mushrooms around here), followed by blackberries.

The day was quiet; spent at home... just Mrs. Denmarkguy and myself.

And that was exactly as it should be.

I've often been asked if I don't feel like I am missing out on something by not engaging in an assortment of "festivities" on my birthday, and the answer remains a firm "no."

When I look back on my life and consider the memories, I can't remember even a single birthday party thrown for me, but I pretty much remember all those quiet days where I enjoyed the "gift" of simply being myself, on my own terms.

Thanks for reading!

(Another #creativecoin creative non-fiction post)

How do YOU celebrate your birthdays? Do you have any annual "rituals" you like to follow? Or do you just do whatever comes to mind, on any given day? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!

(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for this platform.)
Created at 190831 10:48 PDT; published 190905 18:17 PDT
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