Taking a moment to make a decision...

Entry 07.27.2026 09:13:40 - Pranidhana 0001

Strangely enough since I ran away after my mother's death in September, 2025; several therapists, acquaintances and people I sought out for emotional and mental support have been telling me that it's time for me to sit my butt down and write a book. My Story

There are more problems going on than I realized what I had going on... And the first therapist I saw after my laparoscopy and removal of my gall bladder, didn't even give me a hint what the mental problems were.

Let's start with this since coming home to Rhode Island...

I have CPTSD

According to my therapist here in Rhode Island, it's rating is 43% (of 80%) on the DSM-5 scale. It's primary element is avoidance, but as I learned the next day after receiving my action plan to dealing with the avoidance issues, there's a definite reason why avoidance is a reflex action with me.

The reason is that I had near put someone's face into the wall at the shelter because neither did he accept the word no, he hounded me until he as going to get his way. Had it not been because of the intervention of one of the other shelter members not only having PTSD through combat, but also well medicated based on what he was telling me -- performed an intervention on the halfwit that was causing me to go into hyperarousal.

After writing this entry and the final decision and having a brief lunch down the street, I'm actually looking forward to seeing my therapist and a psychologist as to the methods they're going to perform determining which prescription is going to be added to my daily intake.

But I digress... I'm not here to discuss all of the here and now. I'm here to work out the thought of whether or not I should write the autobiography people tell me I should be writing.

Honestly, I'm not sure. Much of my life didn't make it to the news, the Internet -- while it existed since 1969 -- didn't start becoming more mainstream until at least 1991 when the World Wide Web was created. Not to mention trying to find this information from 1964 to 1991 can both be tedious and ending up in dead ends.

While I've put some thought into it -- I often know that my writing skills feel more technical (thanks to my working as a technical writer/editor), to going down all sorts of rabbit holes and losing the general plot. Particularly when I want to describe something in detail.

Can I discipline myself? Maybe it might come to happen if I become more medicated in dealing with CPTSD and my inherent anger and anxiety issues. Well, that and seriously working on therapy when it comes my way when facing my traumas... Currently though while it's free (while my insurance is being processed and cleared), it's better than nothing.

Bottom Line: It's going to remain in the Maybe category. I can see the potential for it, but at the same time, I can see that it's going to take a lot more work to come to a final decision.

Amituofo...