Had An Embarrassing Moment That Has Become A Challenge For Me To Get Better.
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Yesterday evening wasn't't funny at all, anyways I really can't tell why I even have to document and share , I guess it's needed for growth because one day I would look back at this post and smile and even wondered how I ended up in such a situation as this.
I have managed to get over the thoughts of tonight's experience, it was quite unpleasant and embarrassing. The last time I had a similar experience was over a decade ago. How I managed to experience this again marvelled me. Anyways let me share the occurrence with you.
I was to teach a bible study outline tonight at church, although this was supposed to have been taught last week tuesday by me, trust me as at last week I had everything written and figured out. My thoughts and my mind had sync with the topic but somehow I wasn't able to take it any longer.
Well I thought that was gone until further notice when there is another opportunity to do so only for me to get a call yesterday morning that I would be the one taking the Bible study with the same outline for last week. I wanted to turn it down immediately , the reason is not far fetched, I wasn't prepared.
I had my notes but every part of me seemed to disagree with my decision to take the Bible study. Somehow I obliged and then did something I called a review of what I had prepared previously for the study. I wasn't really flowing, I could only beg God to help me deliver on the study.
Fast forward to evening which was for the Bible study. I got the outline from one of the ushers. Mounted the pulpit and after sharing the topic and reading the anchor text, I went completely blank. I had my notes in front of me but could not read, seems like I didn't start on the right foot, so in my head I was trying to figure out where to start from so all the dots can connect but all to no avail.
So I was there reading word for word what I have on the Bible study outline which was obviously with everyone. After I had read it 3 times over, it became obvious to the congregation that I was obviously lost. My words were incoherent, my composure was lost. The connection with my audience was already affected and ultimately confidence was gone.
Somehow like a little ray of light in the dark, I got hold of my mind and also connected with my spirit. This was how I found a ground for my communication. It was a struggle but I managed to deliver the things I could grasp in the spur of the moment.
The people in the congregation looked at me with so much concern and worry, some could not even look up at me because I was obviously the shadow of myself as I struggle to communicate the message. I managed to deliver and left the pulpit leaving no room for questions and answers as our usual custom is, I wanted to go scold myself for going completely blank before the people.
Somehow I knew what went off, I wasn't connected, I wanted to do it with my head knowledge and it failed. I didn't depend on the Holy Spirit to help me with the delivery, I thought I could work with what I have scribbled down, little did I know that it would fail me.
Moreso, I put myself under unnecessary pressure to deliver as though the words that were to be spoken were mine. I've repented of all these things and I've chosen to depend solely on him for the slightest ministration I'ld ever be privileged to take.
Yesterday night has actually challenged me, in addition to my resolve is a quest to go deeper in seeking knowledge about public speaking, which I think I'm far from being perfect in. Anyways, that was my embarrassing moment and I've gotten over it, so you might have to save the sorry so you don't open a wound that has healed. Thanks for your time. Gracias
Regards
@lhorgic❤️
