My Boring Elf

My Boring Elf needed a pint of cider that they would occasionally smash. It was considered to be an unusual thing to do, to my mum, but not to the Elf, who thought that this idea is epic. Who would have imagined, a pint of cider is the item to opt for.

My Boring Elf desperately searched for a tomato that they would sometimes try to nail to the wall. It might be a bizarre approach to life, to my grandpa, but not to the Elf, who had decided that the idea was awe-inspring. Bizarrely, a tomato being the chosen thing.

My Boring Elf desperately needed a rubber johnny that they would sometimes experiment on. It should have been a fairly astonishing undertaking, to me, but not to the Elf, who felt that the idea was exciting. You wouldnt have thought, a rubber johnny was the item that was selected.

My Boring Elf looked for a porno magazine that they would try to balance on their head. It was a surprising idea, to some, but not to the Elf, who assumed that this idea was simply life. Bizarrely, a porno magazine was the item that was opted for.

My Boring Elf always carried a bottle of beer that they liked to hug. It is considered to be a fairly new approach to life, to everybody you know, but not to the Elf, who thinks it would be magnificent. Remarkably, a bottle of beer was the thing that was selected.

My Boring Elf carried a lava lamp that they would embrace. It is considered to be an original action, to me and my parents, but not to the Elf, who felt that this idea is stunning. Bizarrely, a lava lamp is the item that was chosen.