The Retarded Newt

The Retarded Newt owned a sword that they would occasionally try to balance on their head. This might appear to be a fairly weird and wonderful approach to life, to my grandma, but not to the Newt, who had come to the conclusion that the idea was breathtaking. You wouldnt have imagined, a sword was the thing that was chosen.

The Retarded Newt desperately searched for a bat that they would often break. It might be a new thing to do, to me and my children, but not to the Newt, who assumed that the idea was the most awesome idea. Bizarrely, a bat would be the item that was opted for.

The Retarded Newt had a condom that they would eat. It is a weird and wonderful undertaking, to my children, but not to the Newt, who expected it would be out of this world. Remarkably, a condom is the item that was chosen.

The Retarded Newt looked for a bottle of coke that they liked to annihilate It was a surprising activity, to my children, but not to the Newt, who thinks that the idea was entertaining. Strangely, a bottle of coke was the chosen thing.

The Retarded Newt desperately looked for a bottle of wine that they would occasionally put up their bum. One might say this is a fairly strange idea, to you and me, but not to the Newt, who thinks that it was in fact, breathtaking. Who would have imagined, a bottle of wine is the item that was chosen.

The Retarded Newt craved for a toilet brush that they would often sleep with. This could be considered an original action, to me, but not to the Newt, who assumed that it was in fact, breathtaking. Bizarrely, a toilet brush is the thing that was chosen.