Oh wow, I had no idea I will have someone who actually knows what it is and goes through it see this post. Very sorry about how it messes up your day and I wish I could proffer some solutions that will really help solve it.

Reading your comment, I am sure you are handling it better than most, and I am sure you will be able to make sense of it all.
Dear @ziofeda, do stay positive and try these routines and more that may help.

Stay Awesome!